How to conquer your fear of the ask

May 16th, 2018

Most people are downright terrified to ask other people for money. Asking for money seems intrusive, awkward, impolite and uncomfortable. Asking for money can be intimidating, but changing your approach can make it easier — and even fun! 

Here are five tips for conquering your fear of the ask:

Make your donation first.

When asking a donor to support a cause, be sure you are already on the record as having given your support. After all, how can you ask someone to do something you have not already done yourself? Your enthusiasm and commitment should be demonstrated through your early gift to the cause. Your leadership will be an indication to others that the cause is important and worthy of funding. Before asking others, it is essential that your donation (or pledge) has already been made.

Never apologize.

If the conversation begins with, “I’m sorry to be asking you this but…” then you shouldn’t be making the ask. Why would you insult a prospective donor by apologizing for asking? If the cause is not worthy of their donation, then you shouldn’t be requesting it. Before making an ask, consider why you have made a contribution (if you haven’t made a contribution, see #1). Why is this cause important and how will it benefit the church’s mission? Instead of apologizing, you should be conveying the transformational nature of the mission for which you are requesting funds. Begin by sharing your excitement about how this project will result in the advancement of God’s vision for your church.

Don’t downplay expectations.

Asking people to give a little something will result in a little gift. Big visions require committed leadership and, often, significant resources. Donors want to know what it will take to make the project successful and what you want from them. If you sugar-coat your ask in an attempt to be more polite, your donor will be confused, frustrated, and likely uninvolved. Be sure to prepare for your conversation in advance and let the donor know exactly what is planned, what is needed, and how you are asking them to respond.

Engage people in prayer.

As Christ’s disciples, we believe generous giving is a crucial component of the discipleship path. As stewards of God’s gifts, we believe God is the giver of all blessings and it is up to us to determine how God would have us use them. Donors should be encouraged to pray about how to use the resources God has provided, and regardless of the size of the gift, listening for God’s leading is vital to the ask.

Make it about the donor.

If you don’t read any of the other five, please read this one carefully. Be sure you prepare well in advance and understand the donor’s wishes. What are the donor’s passions? What other causes does the donor support? How will this gift fulfill the donor’s philanthropic desires? Give careful consideration to whether the request is appropriate for the donor. Is the amount being requested within the scope of what the donor is able or willing to consider? Has the donor made similar gifts in the past to you or to another organization? 

If you have the right attitude and are well prepared, the ask should be a time of celebration. The ask is an opportunity to connect eager donors with projects that meet their philanthropy goals. If you’ve done your job well, they will thank you for the opportunity to be a part of it.


This post first appeared at Horizons Stewardship.

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